Back after a long absence

Nothing serious happened, just never bothered to come over and update on the blog.

Major news bulletins:
We have a second dog now, Chance. The house is coming together, expenses are mounting (after paying off all our debt once) but nothing to report, other than my brother and his wife are no longer a couple (wait for the shoe to drop) they are now a family! Baby came early, SIL was in the hospital because of some problems and now over a month later everyone is fine.

Watched an interesting show tonight, "The Unit" at first DH and I thought that this might be passible, I mean CBS has had JAG and NCIS. Interesting premise, not too out of line with real life for an "elite" unit. Feel good introduction story, but the CO and an NCO's wife???? (If you missed it, it was at the very end of the episode, after the "Top" shot the antique mirror his wife bought when that toy started to repeat him (PTSD type of thing)... Interesting story line here, as old as King David...

Speaking of military, I got my two LOs that were part of the "Memories In Uniform" booth display at the Winter CHA show in Las Vegas. (http://www.memoriesinuniform.com/designer/index.php?lo=9) and (http://www.memoriesinuniform.com/designer/index.php?lo=10)

Now the "HARD NEWS"

Back awhile ago I just felt something "was not right" on the the right hand side of my chest/breast. I was overdue on the annual mammo, and well... so go in for that, been having upper back shoulder pain, and finally the stuff with Dana Reeve (Christopher Reeve's wife, who died from Lung Cancer) sent "alarm bells"

So I got a screening X-ray, something "bright" on the film. Go back for a CAT Scan, something bright, about half and inch by a quarter of the inch, upper right lung lobe, towards the back... Go for a PET Scan. and now I wait. Wait for results, wait to see what is happening with my life, wait to go on with my life.

So I talk to friends, the real friends that ones that WOULD bail me out of a Mexican jail, or be sitting there with me going "what a blast!" And we pray. I ask other friends and strangers for prayers, and we pray. I even argue with God, and still pray. Prayer and hope sustains me. My beliefs and prior life experiences strengthen me. And I still ask for prayers and pray.

I KNOW what I am afraid of, that "yes Sandra, you should have come to me sooner, you have (latin-greek what-ever) and it has spread." Less scary, I have cancer and I am/we are going to fight it and live a LONG life. Or it could be something elss altogether different...

I HATE NOT KNOWING, I HATE WAITING, I AM NOT A PATIENT PATIENT!

I would not like to die at this point in my life. And so I choose that I will not, not today, not in the near future.

That supposes that there are no fatal traffic accidents, no planes from BWI airport falling on my house and no terrorism, nuclear or otherwise in the region.

The more I "actively" think about it the less I think/believe it is any form or type of cancer, when I allow my mind to wonder, the "what if's" become a very tragic "illness movie of the week" sappy story. Anyone alive during the 70's can remember "Brian's Song" and "Love Story" and all those forgettable TV movies about death and dying can relate. Now you know you ARE OLD!!!!

It's still scary, it's something that like my other scars will always be with me. But it's not going to stop me.